10 AM - AIIMS Delhi."Junior Resident Tanveer Bal !", I called out insistingly from the dining hall. As the strong masala tea churned in my empty stomach, I hungrily bit into a cheese sandwich and flipped through the pages of my Surgery textbook. Although I was famished and sleep-deprived after completing a 24-hour Intern duty, I needed to go through the book to avoid being humiliated in front of patients the next day.
As I entered Tanveer's room, he limped towards me with a legitimate knee injury. With his deep brown eyes fixed upon me, he tried to suppress the prickle of annoyance as I examined his swollen knee. I diagnosed it as a meniscal tear from a football game the day before. He chided me by pointing out that the ravaging 'sexapade' following the match worsened his injury. I broke into a smile and pleaded guilty.
"I've always felt uninhibited and loosey-goosey around you. It is never surprising to find myself tangled up in a pile of sheets every time you ask me to stop by just for you to pretend to pick my brain on something." I began slowly. "I don't know what you're getting at but I want you to stop talking right now." He said cryptically. "You can't deny my most cherished conviction that we are meant to be, there is a bright and happy future for us and I'm so in love with you...Let's get married!" I pursued relentlessly. "I'm not here just to hold your hand but to catch you when you fall." I rested my case softly.
"Dr Vaani Gangoli !" He shouted at the top of his voice.
"You silly girl, stop dreaming!" Tanveer growled.
"Why is the idea of marriage so revolting?" I asked swiftly but my voice trembled.
"My mother wants me to marry a Sikhni, also someone who shouldn't be as busy as a doctor and she knows what's best for me." He gave a mirthless smile.
"My parents have already chosen a girl and she seems nice on Skype." He added carelessly.
"You misled me. You said that you loved me and you couldn't dream of a life without me. You have been lying all along just to have an extended glorified hookup." I complained as my world came crumbling down. His rage knew no bounds. I was caught unaware by his stinging slap. He smashed my face in the coffee table. "I don't see a future with you Vaani." He shouted. I was trembling with fear and sobbing uncontrollably. My protests died down, just like my dreams had.
"You better leave." His words echoed with bleak finality. As I crossed the threshold of his room, I swore to never talk to him again.
January 30th, 2018;
6:30 PM - Military hospital, Amritsar
Surprisingly for a Duty Medical Officer, serving the sick and the injured blows up on a magnanimous scale without fail. I sprung to aid an unconscious woman who was drenched in blood from her waist down. The nurse informed me regarding her crashing vitals. I asked for the patient's history and assistance from the staff. "Mrs Ishrat Gill, 28 years old, no history of trauma, is a multigravida, looks like a missed abortion", echoed one of the Interns.
I shooed them away and told them to treat the symptom and not jump to diagnosing the disease. The assisting staff smiled knowingly and waited for my verdict regarding the management of the patient. I had specialized in Gynaecology and Obstetrics. On examining the patient carefully, I scoffed at the correct diagnosis of the Intern. As I instructed the staff to prepare the Operation theatre and shift the patient urgently, I saw a familiar figure peeking through the glass doors of the MI room. As soon as he caught my eye, I saw him flush deeply. After all this time, Tanveer Bal was standing right there with a four-year-old clinging to him crying painfully with deep sobs. Dragging myself to the present moment, I noticed his ranks. Being seized with fury each time I thought of him was a thing of the past but it still seemed to scath a wound somewhere. I tried to be calm and self-assured. I moved past them and called out for anyone accompanying Ishrat Gill.
"Ishrat Gill Bal is my wife," Major Tanveer meekly replied.
"I had come here on Temporary duty... I took up orthopaedics... and we didn't know she was pregnant". His sentences were scattered just like his thoughts. I was stunned for a split second but I composed myself.
"We're shifting her to the Operation theatre. And if everything goes according to plan, you can see her in 2 hours... Sir". I replied mechanically.
I tended to some more patients while the OT was being prepped up. I collected my thoughts while I scrubbed for Ishrat Gill Bals' surgery. Her name has a ring to it I absentmindedly acknowledged. A small knot of apprehension tightened in my heart as I painted and draped the patient. As the operation painstakingly progressed, the tension started to dissipate because everything seemed to be going well. Just before closing her up, I heard the monitors beeping wildly. I realised we were losing her and in that frantic moment, I couldn't locate the bleeder. I rushed to the door to breathe and ordered the staff to arrange blood. Tanveer was pacing in the corridor like a caged tiger. Color drained from his face when he realised something was amiss. He had sunk down at my feet, his face buried in his hands.
"Please don't let anything happen to her because of what I did to you." He cried. I shot him an angry glance.
I leapt back to the operation table and did my best to save the patient but more so to prove my competence. The distraught husband of my patient tugged at my sleeve as I burst out of the Operation theatre... exhausted.
"I am extremely apologetic for my immature behaviour. Fraught with worry and overcome by anxiety, I crossed a line." He smiled sadly.
"She's recovering, I need to get back to work!" I replied sardonically as I escaped from his eager clutches.
"I saw you in a different light, as a woman I had never before witnessed." He was appalled, as he looked at me with a strange gleam in his eyes.
A strong hand lightly squeezed my right shoulder and the pure and undiluted disgust of the night's events evaporated. I turned to melt into the comforting embrace of Major Mrityunjai Rana. I breathed in his intoxicating cologne and I knew I was home. "I got my Unit's cook to make Biryani for you. I was too tired to torture you with my Master chef skills." He chortled. I adored his Greek godly genes as he loomed over me in his olive green that he donned after joining his father's unit, the Mechanized Infantry. My eyes glistened with an emotion Mrityunjai couldn't decipher. My husband grew concerned as he covered my hand with his and then tucked the hair falling on my face behind my ears. I mumbled that I got worked up. "If you're done with saving lives for the day, let's just plunge into our dinner before it gets cold?"
He changed the topic as he sensed that Tanveer's presence was keeping me from revealing what was bothering me. As they were both in uniform, they exchanged pleasantries as was expected of them. Seeing the person who had crushed my heart and had disrespected me... I felt nothing because I was with a man who had blessed me with his love and tender care.
Human nature is odd; the emotion called love is odder still.
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