There? Always.

Whatever we're looking for is looking for us too.

 April 2018, Pathankot

In the quiet hours of the morning, she experienced a light, lifting moment of relief. The sun was out but she could still see the moon, the day seemed to be blurring into the night, blotting the sun and the warmth of the daylight. She could not stop smiling, brilliant and radiantly, her eyes brimming brightly with newfound bliss as she dried her hair on the veranda. Her skin was shining like porcelain.
That sight simply took his breath away. As she strode past him into the bedroom, he looked proudly at her donning the uniform. She looked the happiest and the loveliest. They exchanged wordless, reassuring glances. He was hopelessly falling in love with her all over again and she smiled as the quick colour deliciously rose in her face because she knew it.

August 2014, Ranikhet
They were sitting in his car for the last two hours, listening to the rain dancing on the roof. There lingered a certain sense of contentment. Every time, the mere sight of each other made them melt in the warmth of each other’s presence. They loved each other so passionately, so blindly, so incoherently unperturbed by the trap of expectations. She couldn’t help but wonder how would she ever be lucky enough to have the perfect life where her fairy tale bliss blushed and her ambitions smirked?

She was everything he had ever wished for-lovely, intelligent, teasing, witty, strong and above all, so devoted to her family and career. He loved the flashing look in her large, dark intense eyes when she was challenged. He loved her childish laughter and could literally give anything and everything to be the reason for her warm and sparkling smile. As he took her ice-cold hands in his, she sighed happily at her incredibly good-looking, overprotective boy who had a quiet serenity in him. She was amused at the fact that he was always good-natured and cheerful irrespective of his burdensome jam-packed routine.
They were just kids in love, indisputably close and vehement about it.

January 2016, Ranikhet

The newly commissioned lieutenant in the infantry was visibly enthused to see his girl’s determination and she was led to hope that it would be enough to get her where she always wanted to be. She was painstakingly working hard to be able to join the Military. All she ever wanted was to be competent enough to save the lives of the people who save their country.

The late nights and the early mornings were clearly taking a toll on her but she always managed to brush it off and feverishly beam at him. Her final year at MBBS was frantically grinding and was leaving no opportunity to test her mettle. Her perseverance and patience were washing away.
He figured she was struggling. He believed in her and could not let her bog down without putting a fight. He flew to see her. On catching a glimpse of her, captivated by her ethereal beauty, he couldn’t stop gazing at her. She was disappointed in him as a friend. As they sat on the floor, discussing life, he seemed to be exasperatingly calm while she was ranting about the chaos her conflicting dreams had created. She felt a flash of irritation and pursed her lips in quite a displeasure.

He could see she was annoyed with everything as the day darkened into dusk. As the lights went down and the night slowed down, he decided to take her out for a drive. Hoping the fresh air could freshen her up and uplift her spirits. He pulled over and they watched the beautiful sky sprinkled with twinkling stars. It was delusional. He looked into her black, smouldering eyes, then softly kissed her forehead and lips. She felt his crooked smile ignite her insides. She groaned sinking her head in his chest. They were scorching. Her heartbeat shot up as he pressed harder against her. There was no stopping him, he was a man possessed by love, lust and desire. She heard him moan deep in her mouth and felt his hand cupping her breast, the fingers of his other hand in her hair, unbraiding it and letting it fall loose over her shoulders.
The magic of that moment was broken when she became anxious and cried, ‘Stop it, this is outrageous!’
He looked as if he had been physically struck, his face ashen.
She gasped in horror and shrieked, ‘How could you stoop so low...I thought you loved me.’ She broke into sobs and continued, ‘...You would support me when I’d be physically and mentally worn out and all you had in mind was this! You wicked thing!’
His face crumpled and he muttered, ‘Forgive me’. He made no frail attempt at justification. He dropped her off. No words were exchanged. He felt guilty and hurt. She had a whirlpool of emotions knocking her down. He was standing at her door, fighting back tears, hoping it wasn’t over. She peeped out of her window to see him walk away
after a while, but her heart was dismayingly empty.

April 2016, Ranikhet
She was sick to her stomach when she opened the letters. With her fingers still shaking, she found her call letter. Her happiness knew no bounds. Her family merrily and quickly made calls to celebrate her achievement and to let the world know that they were happy as can be. Dreading his resentment, she kept herself from calling him. Anger crept in and coldness took over her. When he didn’t call either, she thought to herself, ‘The people who don’t choose to be a part of my happiness, do not deserve my tears.’

August 4, 2017
She was serving as an Army doctor, aloof with dignity, living her dream but there was something terribly missing. Her heart yearned for his presence. She missed looking into his mischievous, gleaming brown eyes. His quick-witted remarks. His cologne. Everything about him.
She felt hideously embarrassed to lash out at him that night. Feeling helpless and dismissing her painful thoughts, she mustered the courage to talk to him again and texted, ‘There?’
Instantly came the reply, ‘Always.’

She ran to catch the first flight to reach him. Her hands were trembling with anticipation when she found him waiting for her at the airport. She grinned sheepishly at him, dissuading all instincts to berate herself harshly. With the same crazed look in his eyes, he took her in his arms and swung her around till they both felt dizzy.
He had indeed kept his promise to stay and love her the most.