Chehra

"इस दुनिया में हैं चेहरे अनेक, पर क्यों जरुरी हैं ये चेहरा क्या कभी सोचा हैं?"

In today's world, we all think about glamour and everyone wants to look their best. But is it glamour or just show-off? We all say that real beauty comes from within, but do we believe that? We demand justice for people, but what just really is? Now you must be thinking why are there so many questions. What's it all about? So, let me start from the beginning.

Hi everyone, I am Aastha and this is my story, and today is the day for my 12th surgery. I don't know what the outcome would be and what will happen after this in my life but I want to tell you all that happened before this day, thinking that maybe the people reading this would understand and there will not be any Aastha in future who has to go through all what I have gone through. So, the most important chapter of my life began when I was in college before that life was quite normal.

I loved my college because it was my dream college and I was excited & happy to be a part of it, but I never thought how difficult my life would get. But that happens, right? Sometimes life doesn't go according to what we thought it will be. There is nothing discouraging about it. Sorry, I went a little off-track. So, I was a part of the drama club of my college and we organize a lot of "Nukkad Natak" to generate awareness in the society through our acts. I never knew how successful we were in all this until one day when we were approached by one company to do an act for their social event. The manager who approached me, his name was Shorya, I didn't get a positive vibe from him at first but when my group forced me that this would be a nice opportunity for us, so I accepted the offer.

Our team started preparing for the act, the act was about the acid attack victims and what problems they face in their life. We all were excited about this act and we started searching for the acid attack cases and went to meet a few victims so that we can understand what they face. We were progressing with our act and everything was going well. I was very stressed because we just had 2 weeks to prepare for the show and a lot has to be done in those 2 weeks. It was my birthday a day before the act, one of the members of our drama club Mohit proposed to me. He was a very good friend of mine but I never thought about him in that way. So, I refused his proposal. He became angry and left the party furiously, but I couldn't stop him because he would have taken that in a wrong way and I already had a boyfriend. Nobody in my club knew about him, everybody just knew that Ram is one of my school friends and we are best friends. Ram was not at the party and I felt a need to tell him what happened at the party. I called him and said "Hey, Mohit proposed to me today at the party the club organized for me." and suddenly Aparna shouted at me "Are you mad? Mohit is such a nice guy." Ram was on call and she disconnected my phone. She asked me why I said no to Mohit and I told her about Ram.

We heard from someone that Mohit met an accident as soon as he left and that people took him to the hospital. We immediately went to the hospital; Ram was calling me again and again. My phone was with Aparna and she didn't notice he was calling me. When I got my phone back, I saw his calls and called him "Where were you? I have been calling you for so long." he asked. I replied, "At the hospital with Mohit." He asked, "Why what happened?" I said, "I will tell you all about it later."

The next day we had our show and Mohit was playing a major part in it. He was playing the attacker, who attacks me because he loved me and I didn't. But he is in the hospital because of the accident. I called Shorya about the issue and we had a fight. The next morning (the day of the show), I asked my team about the issue and everyone told me he got discharged last night. He entered and said, "I will play the role." At the time of the show, when we were on the acid attack scene Mohit came wearing a mask. We all were shocked as we never planned it that way, but we thought he improvised to give the character more darkness.  The scene proceeds and as we planned, he threw "Water" on me, the "Acid" of our act.

The scene continued and I started crying in pain and I just felt my face burning, at first everyone thought it is because the water was hot. We planned that he would throw warm water so that I could act that well and people can connect more easily with the emotions. And the burning became unbearable and I started crying loudly, I could feel my flesh burning and the heat reaching inside my body so rapidly. Mohit entered the stage with the bottle and saw me there, he ran towards me, asked everyone to help me out as he never came and threw water on me. Everyone ran and helped me took me to the hospital, the left side of my face was burned, and even some of the right side of my face too. Abhiraj grabbed Mohit by his shirt and asked him "Why did you throw acid on her face? Was this the revenge on her saying no to you?" Mohit replied, "I didn't throw acid on her I was not on the stage, the water I was about to throw was hot so I went back to get the other bottle filled with normal water. The one I helped her with when I entered the stage." Aparna called Ram but his number was not reachable. Doctor asked about my parents, Abhiraj brought them with him. They were crying sitting on the bench. Abhiraj asked them to go inside. My father and my mother broke down the moment they saw me in so much pain. They both stood strong in front of me but when they went out, they started crying. Abhiraj and Shorya came to them and said "घबराओ नहीं सब ठीक हो जायेगाl" I came back to consciousness after 48 hours, police came and asked me the name of the attacker and did I saw his face. I was trying to speak but no one was able to understand as I was not so clear, how could I be? I was in so much pain and because of that, I wasn't able to move my lips. I started crying when everyone said his face was covered and we couldn't see his face. At first, we thought he was Mohit, but he said he was not there. When police asked why everyone thought so they told them about my birthday incident and based on that they arrested him.

It took 2 surgeries and about three months for me to be able to speak again, that was the time I told everyone that it wasn't Mohit who attacked me and that he is innocent. When Abhiraj asked me how am I so sure, I said "मैंने उसकी आँखें देखि थीl" and that he whispered "जा करले अब जिसको हाँ करनी है, मैं भी देखता हूँ कौन पसंद करता है तुझे अबl" when he threw acid on me. Aparna immediately said "It was Ram, right? I can't get into touch with him from the very day you were attacked. I tried calling him multiple times." All of them were shocked, my parents asked me about Ram and I told them everything. I gave my statement to the police and I told them Mohit was innocent. They started searching for Ram and found him in about 6 months.

In these 6 months, I have to leave college in between. The people there didn't like to see me because of my face. I became so helpless and lost all hopes when Shorya the person whom I didn't get the positive vibes from ever, helped me in getting internships and later he even helped me in getting a job. It was not that I was not talented but people never wanted to interreact with me because I was not the normal person anymore. Mohit and the group performed many stage shows in this period, they asked me to join them again but I thought because of me people would not like to see their acts, so I refused. Mohit still liked me and I thought he moved on with his life. I became busy with my job but I had to go to court because of the case. But I was wrong, Mohit proposed to me again and this time I don't know why but I said yes.

I never asked Ram why he attacked me. At first, I wanted to know about it so badly, but in these 6 months I moved on with my life. Somewhere I still want to know but I don't think he deserves to even talk to me; he ruined my life because he had something going on in his mind which was not true. Our case was not strong because there was no proof, he was there, his lawyer said: "It is just Miss Aastha's assumption because the face of the attacker was covered and there is no proof that my client Mr. Ram was there at the time of the attack." We didn't have any strong proof against him. 3 years have passed and we still can't prove he was the one who attacked me. Today, I have my 12th surgery I don't know what will happen after this in my life and if we will ever be able to prove that he was guilty, but I wanted you to know that don't trust anyone so much that it leads you to the position I am in. I trusted him more than anyone, and he was the one to ruin my life. But अब मुझे समझ आया की एक चेहरा कितना जरुरी है क्यूंकि मेरे चेहरे की सुंदरता नहीं रही तो इस दुनिया ने मुझे अपनाने से ही इंकार कर दियाl कहने को वो एक ₹20 की बोतल थी जिससे लोग अपना घर साफ करते हैं, पर उस एक बोतल ने मेरी ज़िन्दगी साफ़ करदीl कुछ भी पहले जैसा नहीं रहा, सब कुछ बदल गया पर घर वाले और कुछ दोस्त आज भी साथ हैं और शायद वही सबसे जरुरी हैंl

Maybe now you guys know why I asked you so many questions. "क्यों है एक चेहरा इतना जरुरी? क्या बाहरी सुंदरता ही सब कुछ है? क्या हम ये नहीं देखना चाहते कि इंसान का दिल कैसा है?" Was it my mistake that I was attacked by acid? Have you ever thought how a ₹20 bottle affects the life of a person? Where was I wrong? 

आजकल की दुनिया में सब दिखावे में जी रहे हैंl सब दिखने के लिए social media पे हमारे साथ हैं पर कोई जब हमसे बात करता है तो उसके चेहरे से पता चलता है की वो हमसे बात करना चाहते हैं या नहींl कई लोग तो हमारे आस पास से जाते हुए छी बोलके मुह बनाके निकल जाते हैंl मैं ये नहीं कहें रही कि सब ऐसे हैं पर बहुत लोग ऐसे ही हैंl

From next time if you find anyone who is suffering from anything, just try to help them instead of just walking away. Maybe you are the only one to help. Just remember this.