Peace of Mind

I met her at a party. It was one of those parties, where no one knows nobody and everybody wants somebody. Just for the night. I was walking around the house, looking for an acquaintance to talk to. Because it had been an hour or so and I was starting to think that maybe I was better off surfing porn sites in my house.

And there she was. Sitting all by herself. Zoned out in her own world. Her lipstick was that of a strange color. It looked like a mixture of orange and pink which didn't really go well with her denim jacket. But it didn't really matter. She was alone. And I wanted company.

Soon we started seeing each other. At times we would go to the trending places in the city. Otherwise, we would simply choose a pub or a cafe to hang out in. There was one thing which I found very odd at the beginning, about her. She was okay going out with me during the afternoons and evenings. Nights though were a different story. Sometimes I would persuade her for late-night parties. But she would decline every time, saying that she needed her peace of mind and nights were the closest she could get to what she wanted. She made it a point never to talk to me at night either. But for some reason, she would always stay online. "Just like that. An old habit." That's what she used to say.

She didn't really like holding hands or public displays of affection. Because it would annoy her. And because she thought that these things were overrated. I remember the one time we were both drunk. And I asked whether she wanted to fuck or not. She looked into my eyes with a very melancholic smile and replied, "Yes. I always feel like that after drinking. But not for you though. Not for anybody else...but it doesn't really matter."

She would come over to my place and we would kill time by playing scrabble to ignore the boredom. It was one breezy afternoon and the weather was nice. The kind of nice that makes you want to hold hands and walk down an endless road. While playing, I got up to open the windows of my room. And within seconds I realized something was wrong. She slowly looked up from the board and asked me to switch on the AC. "A good weather fucks you up." Stating that she went back to constructing her words.

And then it all stopped. We didn't meet for days and it was okay with me. I would text her now and then asking whether she wanted to meet. But she wasn't really interested. So I stopped.

Until one night. She called me up. To explain that she was done with this city and the people. She was leaving. When I asked where was she planning to go, a genuine smile spread across my face. Because she gave me a genuine answer. "To look for my peace of mind."

The weather today is nice. And it is already night. And wherever you are, I hope you have found your 'peace of mind'.