Lavender

Someone kept ringing the doorbell of our deserted old house. It was usually around midnight. Every time I tried to be brave and step outside to check, I could only find looming spine-chilling darkness. I was in no mood to stumble upon Poltergeists or evil eyes of a deathly animal staring back at me. I shuddered at the thought of discovering either of the two. I poured some double malt whiskey and put myself to sleep... like I had been doing for the past three days.

It was the 13th of October 2017. And like the end of every two-year tenure, my husband and I were compelled to travel and change homes owing to our jobs and our dreams of "Living a life less ordinary." MES probably did a great job masking every crack and crevice of the debilitated accommodation allotted to us, but there was an unsettling feeling lurking in this house.

I had put the thought of ghosts and haunting away by preparing for my Post Graduation entrance examination. I tried to reason with myself that I was a 27-year-old married Doctor, who dearly missed the hustle and bustle of the ordinary day to day life with her friends and family. It was, however, exciting to start life at a new place with my darling husband Randeep.

Major Randeep Bhalla, an officer of the coveted Gorkha Rifles had to leave for a Combat Exercise for a month, as soon as we got there. He had asked me to stay at my parent's house and spend the rest of my leave there. No matter how tempting the offer sounded, I knew that I would just end up being pampered and non-productive. It would defeat the whole purpose of me trying to plunge into the ocean of Medicine to get a good college for my post-graduation. So, I solemnly decided to stay alone in this house, at the farthest corner of a God-forsaken place in Kashmir. 

Our buddy didn't turn up the day after Randeep left. So, I decided to go to the market and fetch milk and some groceries. Not having my gourmand husband at home, was a pretty good reason to diet. 

The con of having my childhood sweetheart as my loving husband was that he knew I would choose to do something like that and he made me swear to cook and eat regularly. He stressed on eating healthy and not go with my survival instincts to rely on instant noodles.

As I made my way to the billing counter at the grocery store, I bumped into a beautiful and fragile-looking woman, whose scarf had gotten stuck in the door. She introduced herself as Mrs. Ekta Puri while I was struggling to take her scarf out of the door without tearing it into shreds. We strolled around the shopping center when we discovered that our husbands had gone on the same exercise. I was relieved to know that I wasn't the only one, in this treacherous ordeal of living alone here. 

We bonded over a cup of coffee in the cafeteria where she talked endlessly about her struggles with her mother-in-law. It seemed that we were both just looking for a company and it felt safe for a while. Out of nowhere, she asked where I was putting up and I told her my address; "House Number 2, Ashok Vihar". I saw a grim look on her face while I warmed my hands with my coffee mug.

She drew her chair closer to me, gently squeezed my hand, and said, "Captain Kalindi Pillai, either you're an extremely brave woman or your husband has kept a secret from you."

I felt dizzy and the yellow lights of the cafe seemed to be floating around me. I finally got a hold of myself and asked what Ekta meant by her contentious statement. She cleared her throat and took her own sweet time to formulate an answer. Her weird behavior was taking a toll on me. She looked me in the eye and said, "Three months before you shifted here, a couple...uh...seemingly happy newlyweds were inhabiting your house." 

She took a deep breath and suddenly her phone rang. She nervously took her daughter's call who had gotten her period for the first time. Her daughter was freaking out, from what I could make out of all the shouting on the phone. Ekta apologized and left hurriedly to soothe her daughter and to hopefully make her believe that she wasn't going to die but was now capable of reproducing. I got up and shook her hand. Controlling myself from compelling her to complete the story, I picked up my shopping bags to head back.

As the sun went down, a gloomy twilight settled over the land. I made tea and fixed a meal for myself. I double-checked all the doors and windows because of all the animal attack incidents, and urban legends of various supernatural events. I tried to keep my fear at bay by cleaning Randeep's cupboard. It took several hours before I could find my way out of this gruesome task. I lit up an incense stick, chanted a small prayer, and sat down to study. 

Agitated by a difficult topic, I decided to look for my Davidson in the trunks stacked in the storeroom. There I stumbled upon a beautifully decorated yet torn diary. As an avid reader, I decided to plunge into the secrets it withheld. The only entry in it was from May 24, 2017

It read: 

"Love a little more, it might hurt a little less. I am numb. It hurts today to think of what they might see in me. It hurt then; it hurts still. Been long since I have introspected myself. I sit alone today, outside and it's too cold. It's too cold and there is nobody to hold on to. If there was someone here, I might ask whether the tree that has stood for hundreds of years loses its essence in fluttering wind. Does it have its essence in standing still? It's too cold and it hurts, it hurts as my hands shake in peril. There is no warmth for me to seek and if I'm to believe, I'll die alone. It hurt then, it hurts still and it might hurt for the rest of my time.

Some days I feel too much and then on other days, nothing at all. If someone was here maybe we would feel together of the wind that shakes me still and of the winters that hold me still. But it's just cold out here, fog dense enough to cloud my perception to seek any love if there is. I shiver, I hurt and there's not much hope.

If someone was here, I'd ask why I succumb to darkness when it's still daytime but there is no-one here except me and I don't want to remain while it bleeds." 

I felt sorry for the person, who this diary belonged to. I placed it back and left the storeroom with my Davidson.

In a matter of seconds, my lids grew heavier and I decided to hit the bed.

I woke up in a panic, convinced that I had heard the curtains in front of my bedroom door swaying. In the dim glow from a bathroom night-light, I made out a ghastly shadow on the wall and froze, terrified. I'm going to die, I thought.

A tall and slender woman dressed in a beautiful red saree was standing in front of me. She reeked of lavender and her scent filled the room. "I'm Amrita", she smiled. Everything about her was normal, except for the question; how did she get into the house when all the locked doors and windows?

I gulped and greeted her. She told me that the diary I had found earlier was hers. Amrita asked if I could lend her my ears as no one had ever liked tolerating her existence. I was confused and empathetic but I liked the vibe and simplicity she exuded.

She began to speak as I fixed us some tea.

"We were married after a brief courtship. He was a handsome man with a decent personality and a gift of gab, while I was an indecisive and a calm person who could never go against her dad's wishes to get me married to his family friend's son.

The romance didn't last long.

Soon I had to cover my bruises with makeup and long sleeves and told no one about my plight. My oddly silent husband grabbed my arm; threatened to break it in retribution for sabotaging his life. He fought his whole life to get ahead and to get attention and I ruined it for him." 

She took in the aroma of my ginger tea and took a small sip as she continued, "Just because things could've been different doesn't mean they'd be better." 

She looked earnestly at me and said, "I should've run away but I didn't. Like any other young woman in love, I thought I could save him. Little did I realize, he didn't need to be saved... He just wanted me out of his way. I loved him so much and he broke my heart. I had nowhere to go. No affection to seek. No future to look forward to.

He had killed me the day he told me, he married me only to comply with his parents' wishes and excessive dowry... I decided to hang myself from the very fan you're sitting under. I left this life but I couldn't transcend the barriers of this physical world...Escape into the afterlife. I don't mean to bother anyone who steps into this house. I just need some company...just like you do". She looked at me expectantly.

She made sense and then I couldn't look at the fan over my head... but surprisingly I wasn't scared. There wasn't a black atmosphere in the house or eerie sounds. 

I decided to step into a new territory of the other side and asked, "What happened to your husband, was he ever punished for all the unpardonable things that he's done to you?"

"His jeep tossed over in the mountains...oh never mind...he was driving and talking to his mistress", she had a smile pasted over her thin lips.

I breathed with effort and asked what had been bothering me for a while. "I didn't even have a Ouija Board; how did I manage to communicate with you?"

She chuckled and answered, "I just have a story to tell... Which will probably not turn into a blockbuster. I don't need ghost things to prove that I'm a ghost!"

We laughed hysterically, both amused by her witty humor.

After five long days, my husband turned up at our doorstep. He had returned because the exercise had been postponed due to adverse weather conditions. I told him about the creepy events, the doorbell, the expression on Mrs. Ekta's face, carefully omitting the details of the scented ghost.

Randeep chided, "Around here the only thing that spreads faster than the disease is gossip". His reaction changed to disgust when he pulled out something from the hole in the wall where the doorbell hung. "Look, it was just a stupid fucking lizard tangled in the poorly wired bell. Also,

I'm starving and this looks like barbecued meat. Let's have dinner before I'm reminded of my days in Academy camps where I would eat anything that moved."

November 24, 2019

"The house is empty just how it was before we first moved in.", Randeep gently squeezed my shoulders trying to calm my nerves as he strode past the packers and movers to signal the truck to move. 

I whiffed in the lavender fragrance, one last time before leaving our house. We were posted out to a peace station. Finally, everything was on track but knowing that Amrita was around, my eyes welled up. I was leaving a friend behind, I sighed.

As I stepped into the garden, I heard her faintly saying, "This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you.

Remember me and smile, for it’s better to forget than to remember me and cry.”